BUSH Celebrates His Enemy

My Dear Enemy
1.0 I am laughing as I write this. In a way, this open letter opens my emotional floodgates. I should not be smiling, let alone laughing, as I do this but I am. I am so exhilarated it can only be best captured by the late Obong Akpan Isemin's anglicised Ibibio dictum, 'my heart is red.' Very red. I am excited to write to you. This is not just any letter, but an open letter of love, of forgiveness and, if you like, of encouragement. Well, encouragement for you to continue being who you have been. I am excited that I have so conquered self and life, and hm, you, to appreciate things so differently. 
2.0 Before proceeding, there's this confusion I must dispel. Who is an enemy, or to be more exact, who is my enemy? Is it the human being who, back in 2006/2007, swore that over his dead body shall I represent my people in the Legislature? Is it the one in 2010/2011, who didn't swear, in fact who laughed and played with me all the while, but who had a different agendum? Is my enemy the guy who wined and dined with me, at my expense, while he was in the valley, but who sacrificed me as a ladder to the top? Is my enemy that man, or well, that woman, who smiles and tells me sweet nothings, even when he/she should be fuming with rage? Or, is my enemy that person who shows me he/she is my enemy? Who is my enemy: the one who thinks it; the one who says it or the one who does it? Which one is really the most powerful: to think it; or to say it; or to do it? While you chew on that, can we make progress, Mr. Enemy, please?
3.0 Going forward, please permit me to retrace my footsteps this once. Just to clarify the foregoing, my enemy was not the human being who swore. My enemy is not, and will never be, that one who flaunts those anti-me mien, sentiments, words, etc. And surprise, surprise, surprise, my enemy is not and cannot be the one who didn't swear but who struck against me at the nick of time; neither should the booby prize go to the protege who mouthed eternal love for me while he was drowning, but who remembered to keep one eye open, and swam off alone once he sighted the shore; nor to the one who smiles at me when he should be growling? No, none of these three qualify. Please stop wondering. This is not about your own enemy; it's about mine, remember? I know what I am saying. None of them so qualifies because their previous missteps had compelled my mind to permanently second-guess their enemity-tendency! I knew them. My point here is that my enemy is not and can never be the man or woman who has registered that say-so. On a general note, I like to add that it is only a fool who is and can be caught napping by a known enemy.
4.0 So, who is my enemy? Please take it easy, Mr. Enemy; I shall unveil you, presently. Meanwhile, let me preach a little. See, an enemy can be your parent. It can be a spouse; a sibling; a relative; a colleague with whom you are five and six. An enemy can even be your Pastor! Stop shouting, mbok. As Americans say, you aint seen nothing yet. And if it can be the Pastor, it means you must re-assess those brethren you have been treating as yourself; especially those within your denomination. Something else to note: the closer the enemy is to you, the worse, or more dangerous; or the bigger a threat he/she is! It is true, a distant enemy can only perform small wonders against you. Once a big man-made storm hits you, it's either the brainchild of an insider enemy or of his connivance. Furthermore, you also must be interested in the cause of an enemity. Enemity caused by ancestral history or event can be healed. Enemity created by a fault of yours or a misunderstanding can be mended. An enemy who can't stand you or your ways, and says so to your face, can be panel-beaten into a friend who, in future, can stick closer than a brother. In fact, all these ones are no enemies. They are merely opportunities provided by life to test your people-skills as well as your adaptability and depth. Your enemy is that ever-present darling of yours who secretly hates you for you, for your guts, for your story, for your glory. This is the enemy you should not only dread, but also flee from. This enemy is everywhere. Please spare me that gist of not having an enemy. Even Jesus, the finest and cleanest of them all, had truckloads of them. He still has, thousands of years after He gave His life for those enemies! By the way, don't you know? The more enemies you have; the more tables of honour God sets up for you! And you don't need to have hurt or cheated someone for such a one to become an enemy. So, quit trying to justify your enemylessness!
5.0 Finally, since there's nowhere else for me to run to or continue to ramble, let me tell you about you, my dear enemy. It rankles that you believe you could dribble me for this long, and still keep your identity hidden. Let me tell you, you have been dribbling yourself. You see, I have all along known about your activities, your ways and you. From week one, I noticed, and was terminally-warned of, your wry smiles, hollow laughters, and sickening friendship. In those defeats, or shame, or deprivations or lack (or all) suffered by my family, business or me, I saw through your annoying mannerism of almost-always playing the outsider who wept louder than the bereaved. You have been of no good either, during our few victories. You pose as my friend in public, day and night, but I see how you labour to celebrate along, and how you grumble and curse when you find yourself panting to keep pace with me. It is not my fault, the growth. I only pity you; if you sweat so profusely over these pseudo-growths of mine, what will you do when the real show bursts forth soon? Die? Poor you. And, you are such an ingrate! You never remember the 90% occasions I denied myself to please you; but you never forget the 10% times I couldn't help your over-frequent, selfish demands. But, you know what, Enemy? I celebrate you. It's for all the wrong reasons, though, but I celebrate you. It amazes me how you have managed to put up such a show: all those pretensions; your double facedness; your doublespeak prowess. I hope to one day imbibe your daredevilry; especially your uncanny ability of smilng at me when you should frown. Forgive me -I know you never can, no matter how hard you try- but, I think you should quit your current trade which has fetched you nothing other than near-success and sorrow. I think you should try acting. I have no doubt in my mind you will hit it big in the world of make-believe. As for my family and me, we had not only since forgiven you; I can also confirm that we now truly love, and are grateful to, you. With friends like you, I have not had to take my eyes off the ball. With friends like you, enemies kept themselves away from me, since they trusted that you could do the job, and even better. And what's more, cynicism and sadism, two vibrations you always emit to me, have done me good. Unknown to you, they have always urged me on. It will be too late in the day for you to stop now. As sure as eggs is eggs, you can NEVER EVER be my friend; for, no one else will play your current role like the round-peg-in-a-round-hole you have been. Congratulations, my dear enemy, and keep burning. Jesus is Lord!
Just me,
BUSH